When people tell me sex ruins friendships trust me I never seem to understand it …. 

I’ll air my views later but before then let’s read this real life story i got from a conversation with a newly found but pretty good friend ….


So there’s this guy, I had a thing for him way back. I never made a move or did anything about it. So on this fine day, pretty breezy evening, I was extra horny and for some reason he called. He lived just a couple of houses up my street so all i had to do was go downstairs to see him. 

I was wearing a shift dress. I just had a shower, I just wore a bra, no panties and my shift dress. Now I didn’t think anything would happen so I just ‘wing’ it. Got to him, we sat and talked for a while. We talked about quite a number of things it became obvious that the tension was building.  I had to tell myself numerous times to snap out of it. I know how freaky I could be so I had to constantly keep myself in check. He asked; “how I was” really? Of all times to ask? I took a couple of seconds and I said horny. At this point was when I knew I just fucked up. But noooo, i didn’t feel bad about it. I just thought nothing would happen, we would have a good talk and laugh about it, but that would be it. 

It was like I lit a fire, not like I was surprised though. We talked and teased each other. He was lost in talking but I wanted more so I just reached out and kissed him. I know, i know, it’s not girly like but so is not wearing panties and none of you boys called me a hoe then. The numbness got to the thoughts in his head and it they were as quiet as it was among fans of Athletico madrid when Sergio Ramos scored that equaliser against them in the final that year. He kept inviting me over to his place after he got over the surprise kiss but I declined repeatedly. Nigga’s lips was the softest I’ve  tasted. 

Well, I finally burge. We got to his staircase an we kissed like teenagers. Fire was burning. We finally get to his place and our clothes were off in seconds. Well mine was cos I wasn’t wearing much. The kissing was intense.  Tension was building. I was like, finally, finnaly!!! 

And then we get on the bed he enters me and I’m like ???? πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’ I’m waiting.  … for… something !!!! My guy is busy thrusting, asking me if I like it, and I’m like “like what ???? For fuck sake”!! Said that in my head. But my words were “Yeah”. Thankfully he put me out of my misery and came like a minute later. To say I was disappointed is an overstatement !! Nigga says he was to clean up and go for round two. In my mind I’m like … with who ?? Never… I’m leaving. But I smile and say ok. He comes back and I’m dressed. He starts kissing me. Saying … let’s do this baby By this time I was …. disappointed I even tried to give him head but I almost threw up. I just told him I had to leave that I didn’t lock my door Na so I ja!

I didn’t call or speak to him for  while   He buzzed me later and it has never been the same since then.

 …. after you read that personal confession I’m sure you must be laughing pretty hard. It’s okay, please laugh some more πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Now to my view ….

When people say sex ruins friendship … it’s this kind of sex they are talking about. 

Let’s  think about this strategically …
If the sex was good would she have spoken to him afterwards? Most likely your answer is yes. 

She would have spoken to him saying “what happened was a huge mistake, it should never happen again”  but we both know what she means by that is. “Shit was great I hope we lose our senses some other time so it can happen again” 

Calm down, before you all come for me. I want you to understand that my thinking is never microscopic neither am I narrow minded. HOW EXACTLY CAN YOU RUIN A VANILLA FLAVOURED ICE CREAM BY ADDING CHOCOLATE SWEET SPRINKLES?. HOW??? PLEASE TELL ME HOW??? That’s exactly how it sounds like when ever I hear “we cant have sex because we are friends” It is just annoying when people hide under the umbrella of “it’ll ruin our friendship” There are so many other ‘real’ reasons why; reasons like

  •  You have portrayed yourself in a particular image to the guy or girl, more often than not; the ‘saint’ kind of image.
  • You are just not sexually attracted to the person.
  • You are more concerned with how the person sees you after you guys must have had sex.
  • You’re worried about people or someone else finding out.
  • You don’t just want it.
  • You don’t want to take the risk of will I regret it or not.
  • You claim to attach feelings to sex, like if you have sex with him or her you would probably fall in love. Love wey you go gree fall in since all these days abi? SMH
  • Fear of terrible sex or/and awkwardness afterwards
  • Can’t stand to face her or his next boyfriend or girlfriend
  • Addiction

Amongst soooo many other ‘real’ reasons ….

..but because you are trying to deal with all those reasons listed above you end up running to “it’ll ruin the friendship” . 

“It would ruin the friendship” has really suffered enough if you ask me. Be bold and tell the person the true reason why, then, the person can process and understand or process and don’t understand. 

Let me quickly chip this in. I’m talking to friends who are both single. I would never advice you to cheat on your partner with your friend because you’re sexually attracted to your friend. If you need some extra excitement talk to your partner and you both can be adventurous …. that though is a story for another day …. 

Now if you’re sexually attracted to your friend, you feel a certain sexual tension around him or her. Go for it and if the person hides under “it’ll ruin our friendship” ask her/him if it is any of the reasons listed above. If the person insists it’s because it would ruin the friendship tell the person to be more explicit in explaining how that’s going to happen. BECAUSE I CANNOT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND IT. 

Well, i just thought to drop this here, this is totally from my viewpoint not a matter of if I’m wrong or right. I may be totally wrong for all I care but that’s my view. 

My stand is BAD SEX CAN TOTALLY CRIPPLE FRIENDSHIP IN A TWINKLE OF AN EYE. BUT GREAT SEX WOULD NEVER DO THAT. So your only question should be would it be great sex or bad sex. That’s a risk for you to take.


I would love to hear your views on this. 

Do you think good sex ruins friendships?

 PS : Do not try to correct my POV just air your views. It may contradict mine, fine! But do not pick my view out and criticise. It’s pointless because it’s not changing πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


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  1. I’m always concerned I’ll catch feelings, (well if we have sex, then I’ll deem there were feelings all along) and I’d want him all to myself if that sex is good. Looking at it now though, it really doesn’t spoil anything if it’s good. But can you really say you’re just friends after that? πŸ˜• that’s the confusion.


    1. 😊 well, titles are shit anyway! You really don’t want to bother yourself with what your relationship would be defined as. ‘Friends’ is still the word


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