The way he is, is just so intriguing. He would rather smile coyly than laugh like “broad daylight”. His words never too long, always short but precise. He is not the type to cuddle your ego, Leave you blushing or dreaming. Even after all that he still manages to be amazing. His level of reasoning is way above average, his voice, his looks!!! 😍. His confidence level, the way he walks, he is so neat and dresses gorgeously. The way he laughs when playing football with his boys is just totally adorable. Noooo, he isn’t gay I’m like 150% sure of that. He acts a whole lot of times with girls, with me! like he is incapable of love and romance but once in a while, he carries my bags for me and opens car doors for me. He tells me he hates flowers and sees no reason why guys have to deliver that. But, I stumbled on a folder on his laptop that had in it the most romantic words I have ever read all my life. Complicated, isn’t he? All the more reason why I’m interested! It’s almost like he knows exactly everything you want him to do or say, what I want him to do or say but chooses not to. But then he manages to show you, manages to show me! “once once” that he is not oblivious to the fact that I want those things. So he shows me, giving me short unsatisfactory moments of sheer joy at his own time and convenience. Bitter-sweet feeling followed by my soul yearning for more. But I can’t complain, I do not want to freak him out or lose him. I am attracted to this man. You may call me crazy or stupid but I have fallen really hard for him. He says we are friends and reminds me almost everyday that he doesn’t want a girlfriend, insisting he can’t deal with the ‘foolish drama’ that comes with the tag. I have known him for only a few months almost 4, but we see pretty much everyday! 

I like the idea of love, I totally think romance is beautiful but I have always wanted to be fucked helplessly all my adult life. Not exactly raped, but fucked by a man I like and want! Although as the years have gone by, I have learnt to live with the fact that it may never happen! The thoughts of being fucked helplessly still gets me wet every single time though! I have just found a way to pay less attention to it.

 Like every other regular Friday we were out at the pub close to my house for some good live music and a couple of drinks. I always did most of the talking he just smiles and chips in a few words every couple of minutes. Although the way he listens to me talk is enough for me to keep talking forever. The way he looks at me, yes so fixed on me like I was the only thing that mattered in the world at that point in time. It was soul satisfying. If his eyes could undress me, I would be butt naked every single time.

But today was a little bit different, he was talking more and I just wanted the night and time to stand still. He spoke so softly, deep sweet manly voice! I could listen to him talk for a full year straight! So I seized the opportunity to ask him how he made love to girls because I told him I was sure he had enough girls at his beck and call.  

He chuckled a bit, revealing his beautiful set of teeth. That was a rare moment, a very very rare moment. He cleared his throat and said; Felicia, I do not make love to girls, I FUCK! and it’s better when she absolutely has no control over the situation. Then he sipped his drink some more. On hearing this, there was an immediate rush through my whole system. My thoughts were processing at an incredible speed, have you seen the movie ‘limitless’? Yeah? Something like that. I knew I couldn’t get my next word or words wrong. And I couldn’t also let him feel or notice the sudden uneasiness. So I laughed and said; that’s impressive! But how do the girls take it though? I mean you seem like a really bad boy! He said; “let’s just say, they never end up going home that same day” I laughed again and said; “hype”. This time, he smiled and said; “yeah, you might be all about love and romance and you most probably aren’t into that life. But I would be lying if I said I haven’t thought of fucking you a few times! As regards the hype, you know me, you know I don’t do hypes but if you’re still in doubt, although your place is closer it won’t take us too long to get to my place and then you can find out for yourself” Something was clearly wrong today! I mean I had never been to his house, not because I don’t want to but he has never invited me and he turned it down when I offered! For someone who talks small. That was too much talk! Something was definitely wrong today! Was it his “off” day? I didn’t care! I just loved this him and knew I may never get to see him like this ever again. All these while I was thinking, my glass was in my mouth! In a play to avoid the question why aren’t you saying anything! Not like I doubted that he could find me attractive! Boy!!! I’m beautiful! Fine AF, Sexy AF, Intelligent bad ass boss chick.

I finally downed all of my drink, grabbed my bag and said let’s go! For the first time ever I saw him look surprised! But still! It didn’t last long. He downed all of his drink too, settled the bill and swung his head to look at me as if to confirm “is this really happening?” I looked at him and said may I call you zaddy? I guess that was all the confirmation he needed. He grabbed the door and we both stepped out. Him after me! 

We got on a cab and hardly said anything to each other on our way to his place. It didn’t take too long before we arrived at his place though.

His house looked beautiful on the outside and even incredibly amazing on the inside. Big, neat and super attractive. I was sure he had like 50 people working for him in that house. I turned to him and said; “you have such a beautiful place, why were you never going to bring me here” He replied; “Thanks, but you were not a guy! Neither were you a girl I was going to fuck until about 40 or so minutes ago”  … “ohhhhh” I said and he moved to direct me to a dark room. He didn’t turn on the lights but instead led me to the bathroom! Turned on the bathroom light, handed me a towel, a new bathing soap, a shaving stick and told me to go on … pointing to the showers. I returned the shaving stick to him though! Told him I was always cleanly shaved. He smiled and headed out……


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